


Claimed

by Animeangel1798



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: AU, Angst, Claiming, Collars, Forced Muteness, Forced Orgasm, M/M, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Soulmates, dub-con in chapter 4, fate doesn't like Izaya, forced silence, it's only dark at the start, shizuo's izaya senses are tingling, slowburn, these two boys are a mess
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-08
Updated: 2018-09-14
Packaged: 2018-09-22 20:17:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 19,596
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9623831
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Animeangel1798/pseuds/Animeangel1798
Summary: It was there when Izaya woke up, a black band around his throat. It was about a centimeter thick and two inches wide and was made of some unknown material that fit to his neck like a second skin. It was a complete unbroken band, not a notch or scratch on it. Not for lack of trying though. Izaya had pulled at it, scratched at it, attempted to cut it with a knife; He'd tried everything. It would not come off.Or: A very dark (at the start) soulmate fic





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Update: I'm going through and cleaning up this story a bit, adding bits and pieces, making sure things run smoother, ect.

The black band around his throat was there when he woke up. It was about a centimeter thick and two inches wide, made of some unknown material that fit to his neck like a second skin. It was a complete unbroken band, not a notch or scratch on it. Not for lack of trying though, Izaya had pulled at it, scratched at it, attempted to cut it with a knife; He'd tried everything. It would not come off no matter what he did. He figured it was most likely supernatural in nature so he was on his way to Shinra's to see if Celty knew anything about it, though with her memory gone that might not be his best bet either. Still, Izaya did not need this kind of unknown situation in his life and she was his only option unless he wanted to track down the Saika girl.

 

When he arrived Shinra ushered him in with an overly-bright smile, Shinra had always been annoying.

 

"I'm glad you decided to come to us for help! It could very well be dangerous after all. Plus I'm very curious since it's you.."

 

Izaya just nodded with a sigh.

 

"It's an inconvenience. The sooner it's gone the sooner I'll be out of your hair."

 

Celty waved at him as he stepped inside, he nodded back as a greeting. As far as monsters went she was much better than Shizuo.

 

\-- I'm not promising I'll know much but I'll do what I can. --

 

Izaya smiled at her.

 

"Any help you can give would be appreciated, of course the information will be compensated if you wish."

 

Shinra beamed, stepping between them.

"In that case 160,000 yen will do, I want to take Celty on vacation."

 

Izaya shrugged and shot Shinra an exasperated look.

 

"Only if the information is helpful. We can discuss that later though."

 

He moved to sit down while Shinra nodded.

"Of course, anyway let us see~"

 

Izaya shrugged out of his jacket so they could get a clear look as they leaned in close.

 

Celty studied the band for a moment and looked to Shinra, they seemed to reach a simultaneous conclusion. Izaya frowned.

"What is it?"

 

Shinra coughed lightly and Celty typed a fumbling reply into her phone.

 

\-- It... it looks like a claim band. --

Shinra smiled brightly, like this was funny somehow.

 

"Well it's not life threatening at least.... Well, unless the person who claimed you wants you dead."

 

Izaya's brow furrowed.

"What exactly is a claim band?"

 

Celty looked to the side and Izaya could see she was uncomfortable, his worry and agitation rose.

 

"Well?"

 

Her shoulders hunched and she fumbled her phone again, Shinra came to her rescue.

 

"Occasionally soulmates have too much trouble in their lives to be properly together. If they are too incompatible the universe picks the least dominate one and places the other soulmates claim on them. If your soulmate gives you an order, you'll feel an intense compulsion to follow it. Eventually the reasons for incompatibility fade away and then the band will fade as well and you won't have to follow orders any more. Well, in your case I suggest you stay away from them so they don't find out about this, though it might cause a lot of discomfort in the long run."

 

Shinra followed this with a bright smile but all Izaya felt was horror.

 

"Putting aside the matter of soulmates, how am I supposed to know who it is to avoid and why am I the least dominate?"

 

Shinra just shrugged, looking for all the world like it didn't matter.

 

"If somebody gives you an order and you feel the need to follow it when you normally wouldn't that's how you know. The dominate thing depends on your soulmate I suppose. Well, you know what it is and how to get rid of it, we expect payment in less than a week!"

 

Izaya stood up slowly, he felt numb.

 

"Is there any way to get rid of it other than to give in?"

 

Shinra shook his head.

 

"Not that I've heard of."

 

Izaya turned his gaze on Celty but she just hunched her shoulders.

 

\-- Soulmates are serious business, not everybody has one. You should be grateful! --

 

Izaya barely held in a sneer as he turned away

 

"Well, I refuse to give in to this so easily. If I find my soulmate, I'll get rid of them for sure."

 

Shinra laughed.

 

"Good luck with that I guess~"

 

And Izaya walked out the door. Celty put a hand on Shinra's shoulder.

 

\-- Shouldn't you have told him that denying it for too long he could die? --

 

Shinra sighed.

 

"He wouldn't have changed his mind even if I did. I knew the moment I saw it that he'd either change or die. He'll have to figure that out for himself."

 

Celty nodded. She might not like Izaya but she still hoped his soulmate wasn't cruel enough to hurt him. Izaya would have to follow the orders given to him or experience pain. Celty couldn't help but worry. Shinra grabbed her hand with a gentle smile and brushed a kiss to her knuckles.

 

"He'll be fine, he's stubborn but not to the point of death. Things are bound to become interesting for a while let’s just see where things go."

 

Celty nodded and let Shinra lead her back to the couch. Things would work out for the best. They always did.

* * *

 

Izaya avoided people as much as he could until he got home, he was glad to see Namie was already long gone. Immediately he went to his computer and started research. He searched everywhere, it was supposedly just a legend, like Hanahaki disease, so there wasn't much about it but everything mostly confirmed what Shinra and Celty said. There was the part about complete denial could eventually kill him, the part about wild fluctuations between depression and arousal. Mostly the stories all said that the longer the mark was denied the more pain it would cause.

 

Izaya pushed away from the screen hours later disgusted and anxious. This didn’t seem like something he could fight against but like hell he was going to make any of this easy.

 

He turned his chair to look out at the city lights with a troubled frown, somewhere out there was his soulmate. It went against everything he stood for, humanity was beneath him but here he was being forced by fate to become a plaything to some random person. Izaya's frown fell into a scowl. If there was ever a definition of cruel and unusual it was this. Fate was now Izaya's personal enemy and Izaya planned to make his 'soulmates' life a living hell.

 

He rubbed his eyes as he felt a stress headache coming on and decided to go to bed early, he wasn't going to get anymore work done today. took some pain pills and changed into pajamas before crawling into bed. He was out within seconds, a soft sigh leaving his lips as he sank into nightmares.


	2. Chapter 2

_Strong hands gripped his thighs and pulled, Izaya was powerless to resist and his legs fell open leaving him vulnerable. He gasped lightly as those hands trailed over his inner thighs leaving goosebumps in their wake. The man between his legs smirked and placed a kiss to his knee_

 

“ _Beg for it~”_

 

_Izaya squirmed, he felt hazy and overwhelmed. He felt like he was melting. The words tumbled out of him before he could even consider what he was saying_

 

“ _Please, oh god! I need it!”_

 

_Fingers dug harder into his thighs and Izaya gasped. The man laughed lightly_

 

“ _Good boy.”_

 

_The a hot, heavenly mouth closed over his erection and Izaya whimpered, his hands flew to soft hair and the man hummed around him. Izaya's hips twitched and he couldn't help the strangled shout he let out. The man's head bobbed up and down around him and Izaya keened._

 

“ _Oh, please! Please let me come! T-tell me what to do! I-I need to come!”_

 

_The man pulled away just as Izaya was teetering on the edge and Izaya almost sobbed, thighs clenching and fingers tightening in his soulmates hair. The man pulled him into a gentle kiss that left Izaya quaking. A hand suddenly wrapped around his member and a gentle tug was all it took._

 

“ _Come.”_

* * *

Izaya woke with a shout, sheets sticky around him. Shame followed almost immediately, this was unacceptable. He hadn't had a wet dream since high school and even then he'd never came in his sleep. This soul mate mark was already the worst thing that ever happened to him and it was only day 2.

 

He got up to head to the shower it occurred to him that the man in his dream had seemed very familiar, it was almost on the tip of his tongue but the dream was fading fast and he'd really rather not dwell on it either way. He took a quick, cold shower to wash himself then stripped the bedding for the washer.

 

By the time he was done and could finally work he'd arrived at his desk just in time for his phone to ring. Izaya picked up the phone with slight trepidation (what if it was his soul mate?), but not working was out of the question.

 

“Hello?”

 

Shiki's voice came over the line.

 

“I have a job for you.”

 

Izaya smiled

 

“What can I do for you Shiki-san?”

 

Izaya heard the telltale flick of a lighter through the phone and then an intake of air

 

“Meet my car outside in 10 minutes.”

 

Izaya nodded even though Shiki couldn't see it

 

“Will do, Shiki-san!”

 

And almost immediately he heard the dial tone of Shiki hanging up. Izaya sighed

 

“Always so abrupt.”

 

He was very relieved to know Shiki wasn't his soul mate, he'd felt nothing unusual during the conversation.

 

_'Plus the man in my dream was stronger than Shiki...'_

 

The thought came unbidden and images from the dream flashed through his mind. Izaya trembled slightly and felt a pulse of heat in his groin. He grit his teeth and forced the thoughts away. He did not need another erection when he had only ten minutes to prepare to meet Shiki.

 

He gathered his phones and jacket and checked the time, he had five minutes. The rest of the time was spent going through the forums until Shiki pulled up in front of his door and Izaya left the building to join him. Once they'd pulled away from the curb Shiki spoke

 

“It seems we have a traitor within our ranks.”

 

Izaya raised an eyebrow but waited for Shiki to continue

 

“Confidential information has been leaked to places it shouldn't have been. You are to find the rat without alerting him that we're on to him.”

 

Izaya nodded, nothing he hadn't done before

 

“Is there a time limit?”

 

Shiki frowned

 

“As soon as possible but I understand if it takes a little, he's a good rat at the very least.”

 

Izaya nodded again.

 

“I accept then~ I'll keep you updated on my findings.”

 

Shiki nodded his head

 

“Do that. Payment will be discussed afterwords, as always.”

 

The car pulled over to the side of the road to let Izaya out.

 

Izaya opened the door to get out

 

“Thank you for the opportunity Shiki-san~!”

 

Shiki just nodded and Izaya shut the door. Izaya watched them drive away then turned to see where he'd been dropped off this time. He wasn't surprised to be in Ikebukuro. Absently he started in the direction of Russia Sushi. He'd pick up some fatty tuna then head home to begin research on the rat. He never got there.

 

He barely dodged a stop sign that hit the ground near him and turned to face Shizuo with a grin

 

“Ne~ I thought I sensed a monster.”

 

Shizuo glared

 

“I thought I told you to stay out of my city, Flea.”

 

Izaya sighed and shook his head dramatically

 

“And I keep telling you that it's not your city at all. I guess you're to stupid to comprehend that though.”

 

Shizuo growled and prowled forward

 

“Shut the fuck up you stupid louse!”

 

And then it happened, the band on his neck sparked suddenly and what felt like a vice sank into his throat. Izaya's jaw dropped in surprise and he faltered, that was all it took before Shizuo had him pinned to the wall behind him.

 

Izaya blinked rapidly to recover as Shizuo's grin turned manic.

 

“I finally caught you you shitty flea.”

 

Izaya tried to say something condescending in return but the strange tightness in his throat turned into acute pain. His face twisted and he fumbled for his knife. Shizuo looked confused at the pain and panic on Izaya's face but his confusion fell away in the face of fresh rage as Izaya stabbed his arm.

 

Shizuo released Izaya out of instinct and Izaya was up and running before Shizuo had a chance to recover. Shizuo gave chase. It was a new experience to be chased by Shizuo without being able to taunt him. The knowledge of why was a lead weight in his chest and he felt nauseous at even the thought. He lost Shizuo as quickly as possible and went straight home.

 

He sat on his couch with his head in his hands and tried not to be sick. This was a disaster, nothing could be worse than this. That disgusting dream from earlier kept flashing through his head and no matter how hard he tried not a word would escape his lips. He took a shaky breath and reached for his phone, Shinra seemed his only option at this point. He sent Shinra a text and took another dose of pain pills, his throat was burning and his head was aching. Fate was a bitch.


	3. Chapter 3

Shizuo had given up searching for Izaya and now stood in front of Shinra’s apartment. He was bleeding fairly heavily but it didn’t really hurt that much. He knocked on their door and Shinra opened it with a smile that instantly melted into a frown.

 

“What happened this time?"

 

Shizuo sighed

 

“The flea was acting weird, I finally caught him but he stabbed me and ran off.”

 

Shinra nodded and led Shizuo farther into the apartment. Celty waved at him and Shizuo smiled. She typed into her phone.

 

\--Izaya was acting strange? How so? –

 

Shinra began stitching up his arm and Shizuo shrugged.

 

“I don’t know really. Besides the stabbing he was kinda less annoying than usual? He was being his usual shitty self and I told him to shut up. That’s about when he started acting weird. He started to say something but then didn’t? He looked kinda worried.”

 

Shinra jolted at his sentence and Celty fumbled her phone. Shizuo frowned

 

“What is it?”

 

Shinra just started to laugh. Celty pinched him and showed him a text Shizuo couldn’t see. He felt annoyance creep in.

 

“What the hell is it?”

 

Celty and Shinra shared a look and Shinra just shrugged.

 

“Izaya won’t exactly be thrilled about it but it’s not like Shizuo wouldn’t figure out eventually.”

 

Celty’s shoulders drooped slightly and she typed another message just for Shinra. Shinra laughed.

 

“He might! You’ll protect me right Celty?”

 

Shinra tried to hug Celty but Shizuo pulled him right back away and growled.

 

“Tell me what’s going on right now. Is that asshole planning something?”

 

Shinra actually had the nerve to laugh at that, as if Shizuo would hesitate to wring his neck. After Shinra finished his giggle fit he beamed.

 

“Trust me, Izaya’s in more trouble than anybody else.”

 

He reached over to the table and handed Shizuo a book.

 

“Everything you’ll need is in here.”

 

And then he went back to stitching Shizuo’s arm. Shizuo looked at the book. It was about common myths and it was bookmarked. Shizuo frowned and shot Celty a look. Celty typed quickly.

 

\--The bookmark is at the page you’ll need. –

 

Shizuo nodded. A little annoyed and confused at all the secrecy. Shinra wiped the blood from his arm and sighed.

 

“All done. Have fun reading~”

 

Shizuo nodded and stood up. Celty waved at him as he left. Apparently, he had a book to read.

 

-

Shinra sat next to Celty on the couch with a smile.

 

“Izaya’s not going to be happy at all.”

 

His phone dinged and he checked his messages, sighing as he read Izaya’s text.

 

“So Izaya can’t talk right now huh? That’s got to be torture for him.”

 

Celty tilted her helmet and typed.

 

\--I’m still worried. But I suppose now we know why it happened. –

 

Shinra shrugged, sending Izaya a text back.

 

“They’re stubborn but Shizuo’s not going to just let Izaya die. It’ll work out.”

 

Celty shook her helmet.

 

\--I hope you’re right. –

 

-

 

Izaya frowned as he read Shinra’s text

 

= Sorry, can’t help~ Try to get your soulmate to undo it if it’s that much of a problem. =

 

He dropped his phone to the couch and sighed. At least the ache in his throat only happened when he tried to talk. He could make noise just no words. It was infuriating.

 

It had sunk in slowly and the more he thought about it the more it hurt his head. Shizuo was his soulmate. The very thought was atrocious. At least he could take comfort in Shizuo not knowing.

 

He’d have to find some other way to get his voice back. Surely it wasn’t impossible! He grit his teeth and picked his phone back up, it was a long shot but maybe if he did some more research? There had to be a way. He wouldn’t rest until he found one.

 

-

 

Shizuo set the book down to look at after he made some dinner. All the anger had left him hungry. He made some cup ramen and picked the book back up. He opened to the page and started to read as he ate.

 

**_ S _ ** **_ oulmate  _ ** **_ B _ ** **_ onds _ **

_This myth holds that every person has a soulmate. A person meant just for them. There are two types of soulmates, romantic and platonic. Romantic soulmates are said to be the perfect couples. Platonic soulmates are friends for life and will always be there for each other._

_In very rare instances, and for romantic soulmates only, some soulmates will become incompatible along the course of their life and fate will attempt to fix it. The half of the couple that will be most submissive and/or least likely to accept the bond will be cursed by fate. A black band will appear around their neck and their other half will be able to give them orders and affect their mood at will. Eventually the bond will be complete and the couple will find balance. Only then will the band fade and complete free will be returned._

Shizuo scoffed as he read it. Soulmates? Curses? Shinra had to be joking. He put the bookmark back in the book and turned on his tv. He couldn’t get the thought out of his mind though. He hadn’t seen anything on Izaya’s neck but then again, he hadn’t looked… He’d have to try it out next time he saw the flea. If he yelled at him to hold still and the flea did…. Well, he’d get the chance to beat him up! It’s not like any of it was actually real but it wouldn’t exactly hurt to try either.

 

Shizuo shook his head with a sigh.

 

“That flea better hope it’s not true.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Look.... this chapter is very explicit you guys.... so much porn and nobody even gets naked. I need jesus.

Izaya resisted as long as he could. He’d stayed home for days, each morning waking up from steamy dreams that left him wanting. Of course, the rest of the days were either constant arousal or depression. The few normal days he did whatever he could to find Shiki’s traitor from home and dug up legend after legend on soulmate bonds.

 

Eventually though he had to go outside. Of course, that wouldn’t even be a problem except he had to go to Ikebukuro. The thought filled him with dread and a sick forced feeling of longing. The band around his neck forcing him to feel whatever it liked. It made Izaya sick. He glared at the ground as he walked, it was going to be a stressful day.

\---

Shizuo wasn’t really paying attention to much, he was just walking around trying to sort his thoughts. The flea hadn’t been around for days, it was pissing him off. Maybe he really was planning something? Or…. If what Shinra said was true…. But how could it be? Even if soulmates did exist there was no way in hell Izaya was the one meant for him. The very thought made him burn with rage.

 

A sudden smell made him turn, whip-quick to see Izaya’s coat disappear around a corner. Instantly Shizuo saw red but it didn’t seem like Izaya knew he was there. A sadistic grin lit up his features and he headed in that direction. Izaya wouldn’t get away this time.

\---

Izaya was undeniably nervous. Being in the monster’s city when he was this vulnerable was nerve wracking. He was heading to talk to a man who said he had info about Shiki’s traitor but he never got there. He’d just entered a dark side alley when a chilling voice spoke.

 

“Don’t move flea.”

 

And suddenly he was paralyzed. Fear and the band forcing him to stillness. Heavy footfalls could be heard as Shizuo stepped around to face him and Izaya paled at the look of victorious wonder on Shizuo’s face.

 

“So, I guess what Shinra said was true then.”

 

And Izaya decided right then and there that if he lived through this Shinra would not.

 

Shizuo was staring at him, calculating eyes taking him in, that wicked grin still showing. Izaya couldn’t move, couldn’t speak. He was terrified.

_‘I’m going to die. He’s going to kill me.’_

The thought ran through his mind like a lightning bolt and he closed his eyes in defeat. Fitting that it would end this way. Tear burned his eyes and nothing he could do would prevent his demise, fate would see to that.

\---

Shizuo’s smile faded the minute Izaya closed his eyes. The flea looked hopelessly terrified. As he stared he could even see tears collect along Izaya’s eyelashes. The sight of them was like a punch to the gut. And all of a sudden Shizuo knew. He was never going to kill Izaya, he just couldn’t. And in this state, he couldn’t even bring himself to hurt Izaya. It was cowardly to hurt somebody who couldn’t fight back. He understood Shinra’s words now.

_“Izaya’s in more trouble than anybody else.”_

 

Shizuo sighed and glared at Izaya

 

“Stop crying jeez, I’m not going to kill you.”

 

And Izaya’s eyes flew open. Shizuo watching curiously as sparks jumped from the band that Shizuo had just noticed was around Izaya’s neck. The sparks traveled up to Izaya’s eyes and suddenly the tears were gone.

 

Izaya blinked a few times in shock and Shizuo couldn’t help but laugh, this situation was way to absurd. Shizuo had an idea then. Just because he couldn’t hurt Izaya in this state didn’t mean that Izaya didn’t deserve some form of punishment. That book had said that he could affect Izaya’s mood at will… Oh this was going to be fun. He sent Izaya a smirk

 

“Stand against the wall.”

 

A spark ran through the band and Izaya moved as told. Shizuo grinned, so if he made a command the band would spark. He’d have to see what exactly was considered a command.

 

Izaya was giving him a death glare but even that couldn’t ruin Shizuo’s good mood.

 

“I’m going to do a little bit of testing.”

 

Izaya’s eyes narrowed but it wasn’t like he could do anything to resist.

 

Shizuo thought long and hard about what he wanted then smiled.

 

“Okay here’s a test run. Will you say the word cat?”

 

He watched the collar carefully and not a spark was seen. If he phrased it like a request Izaya didn’t have to do it. Good.

 

Just for the sake of science he did it again.

 

“Say cat.”

 

And Izaya did, glaring at him all the while. Shizuo grinned.

 

“Here’s another test run. Feel afraid.”

 

And suddenly Izaya’s eyes were widening as sparks shot from the band to every part of his body. A strangle whimper left Izaya’s mouth and tears pricked his eyes all over again.

 

Shizuo watched in awe as Izaya went from angry to terrified in less than a second. A rush of power ran through him as he realized he could do anything, make Izaya feel anything… What if…

 

“Stop being scared.”

 

And Izaya calmed, glaring at Shizuo with even more fervor than before. Shizuo just smiled.

  
“The test runs are over… What’s worse than pain to you?”

 

Shizuo watched in amusement at Izaya’s sudden struggle to keep his mouth closed, his face twisted in pain as his mouth twitched. Finally, he answered.

 

“Humiliation.”

 

And Shizuo’s sadistic grin returned.

 

“Good. Will you apologize for being such a nuisance all these years?”

 

Izaya remained silent. Shizuo had hoped he would.

 

“You can speak as much as you want. I’m going to get you to say it eventually. You can move but you can’t leave the wall.”

 

Izaya sneered.

 

“Why can’t you just order me to apologize and leave you alone?”

 

Shizuo shrugged.

 

“That’s not as fun. Get rid of your weapons.”

 

Izaya glared but emptied his pockets. Shizuo kicked them out of the way and stepped closer.

 

“Last chance flea, apologize and I’ll let you go.”

 

Izaya just smirked.

 

“Make me.”

 

And Shizuo’s face went eerily calm.

 

“You don’t like humiliation…. I want you more aroused than you’ve ever been if your life.”

 

He watched in satisfaction as Izaya’s whole body twisted and heat bloomed across Izaya’s face. Izaya’s head was thrown back to rest on the wall and his hips arched in desperation.

 

Shizuo couldn’t help but grin when Izaya sobbed out a moan and clawed at the wall behind him.

 

“Ready to say it now flea?”

 

Izaya grit his teeth and shook his head. And Shizuo sighed.

 

“You asked for it.”

\---

Izaya was in hell, that had to be what this was. Surely Shizuo had actually killed him and this twisted need was his hell. Every part of his body was screaming for touch, the clothes on his skin brushing against him tantalizingly. Even the air on his skin was making him tingle. He was hard and desperate. But he refused to say those words. He would never give up his pride to apologize to the brute. He refused to give Shizuo the satisfaction.

 

Shizuo stepped in closer till he was right up against Izaya and Izaya cried out as his body sang. Every inch of contact humming with sparks of pleasure. Distantly Izaya wondered if this might just be another nightmarish wet dream. Surely it wasn’t possible to feel this much pleasure in real life.

 

Shizuo’s lips met his ear and Izaya gasped so loud he almost didn’t hear what Shizuo was saying. He wished he had.

 

“I bet you love this. Your insides pounding with pleasure. You can only come if you tell me what I want.”

 

And even as Shizuo spoke Izaya’s body reacted, sparks constricting his dick and playing over his prostate. The constant pleasure had sparks playing over Izaya’s vision as he practically screamed, hips thrusting into Shizuo’s hip and he ground himself against the heavenly friction. Shizuo let him.

 

Shizuo pressed harder against Izaya.

 

“What to say it now?”

 

Izaya barely had the concentration to listen but even so he shook his head. Shizuo growled.

 

“More desperation.”

 

And suddenly there are more sparks inside him, practically thrusting into his prostate and Izaya wails, tears of pleasure streaming down his cheeks. He’s babbling before he even realizes his mouth is moving.

 

“Please, oh god. I-I can’t take it. S-s-“

The sparks inside him press against his prostate all at once and he yelps

 

“I’m sorry!! Oh please! L-let me come.”

 

He’s whining and begging. Pride forgotten under desperation and need.

\---

Shizuo watches Izaya fall apart with awe. He bit his lip as he realized that this was a huge turn on. It was amazingly arousing to watch his enemy writhe and whimper against him. Fuck he couldn’t even imagine what all those sparks that kept disappearing under Izaya’s pants were doing to him.

 

But what had to be the last straw was Izaya’s desperate apology, fuck Shizuo had never been this hard before. He pressed completely against Izaya with a groan as their dicks met through layers of clothes, Izaya’s sweet whimper and desperate grinding bringing him to the edge almost dizzyingly quick.

 

“Fuck.”

 

He whispered as Izaya sobbed out another whimper. This was almost to much.

 

“Y-you can come.”

 

And suddenly Izaya was shouting, hips jerking hard and fast against Shizuo sending Shizuo over the edge with nothing more than a quiet curse. This might have been a bad idea.

\---

It took Izaya a moment to recover, he wanted to get away from here and never leave his bed again but the band had other ideas and forced him to speak before he’s even fully recovered.

 

“K-kiss me Shizu-chan.”

 

And Shizuo shot him an undecipherable look. Izaya was about to deny it, say something scathing and cruel but suddenly there were lips on his and he was melting into it like it was water in the desert. The kiss ended both too soon and not soon enough and Izaya bit his lip at the confused swirl of emotions inside of him. Shizuo was giving him a calculating look but finally moved to give Izaya some space.

 

“Go home. Don’t come back to Ikebukuro unless I say you can.”

 

And Izaya sighed with relief. He moved to get his weapons but Shizuo glared.

 

“Leave those.”

 

Izaya grit his teeth but turned to leave instead. He was going to go home and avoid thinking about how his life could have gone to hell so fast.

\---

Shizuo watched Izaya go with a frown. Now that the situation was over he felt unsettled. At the time Izaya’s torment had seemed fun but now with come staining the inside of his boxers he just felt disgusted with himself.

 

It was one thing to humiliate Izaya but to get off on it… that was just awful.

 

“I need a fucking smoke.”

 

Hopefully he could just forget this whole thing happened. But for now he headed home, he needed to clean up.  


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here we have Izaya being King of Bad Coping Methods and Shizuo who feels guilty af and doesn't know how to fix it. RIP these poor sad babies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story man... I'm having a lot of fun writing it but these poor children need help!

Shizuo’s command was the only thing keeping him walking. His legs were weak and his brain was fuzzy. There was still the tiny part in the back of his head screaming at him but he was too exhausted to care. Everything felt hopeless. Shizuo knew. Shizuo had humiliated him on the worst level.

 

Izaya stumbled through his door and fell to his knees, the band no longer keeping him up. He sat there and tried to remember how to breath. What if Shizuo decided to kill him? What if he decided to keep him? Shizuo could make him nothing more than a doll with one sentence.

 

Izaya took a sharp, shaky breath and brought his legs up so he could rest his forehead on them. He was never going to live this down. Not to mention that he’d have to have Shizuo’s permission to be in Ikebukuro. How was he supposed to work? Shiki needed him to gather information and would be very unimpressed with any kind of explanation he could give.

 

He grit his teeth as panicked tears filled his eyes. His life was over all because of some stupid Soul mate legend. He stood and stumbled to the couch, throwing an arm over his eyes to catch the stubborn tears. He might as well write a will because the chances of him surviving this were minuscule.

**~~**

Shizuo glared at the ground as he walked, throwing his cigarette away. It wasn’t helping. His thoughts were a mess. He’d gone too far. He shouldn’t have done that. Even if half his brain was shouting that Izaya deserved what he got he knew it was the wrong thing to do.

 

Fuck. The flea’s terrified face kept flashing through his mind. He didn’t have to do any of that. He could have just ordered Izaya to stay out of the city and been done with it. He stomped inside his apartment and immediately headed for the bathroom. He needed a shower, maybe afterword’s he might feel less like a piece of shit.

 **~** Time Skip **~**

Izaya groaned as he woke up, he’d accidentally drifted to sleep on the couch. He wiped the sleep from his eyes and checked the time, sighing as he saw it was midnight. He stood up, glad to feel his legs hold him, and went to go get in the shower. He still had the grime of the city and the inside of his boxers was crusty with dried cum. It was a disgusting feeling.

 

He turned the water on to his preferred temperature and stripped off his clothes, chucking them into the laundry hamper. He released a content sigh as he stepped into the shower, hot water pouring over his body and relaxing him almost instantly. He took his time washing himself and felt much better about himself when he stepped out. He wouldn’t let this beat him.

 

He wrapped a towel around himself and grinned. His first step will be planning how to make Shinra’s life hell, Izaya will never forgive him for what he did. Second will be faking his way into Shizuo’s good graces. He couldn’t afford to be kept out of Ikebukuro. Third will be to get the information for Shiki and then, hopefully, kill Shizuo off. He didn’t need that kind of weakness in his life.

 

As he dressed for bed he felt more in control. He would have to think more on it in the morning but just having a plan made him feel better. He wouldn’t go down without a fight. Fate didn’t control him.

 

**~~**

 

Shizuo sat on his couch and sighed, phone in hand. He should tell Shinra that Izaya might have it out for him now. It was stupid to tell Izaya that Shinra had told him about this. He sent Celty a text and received one back almost instantly.

 

_Shizuo: I accidentally let slip to Izaya that you guys told me about the Soul Mate stuff._

_Celty: Eh? What happened!!!_

 

Shizuo shifted uncomfortably.

 

Shizuo: I trapped him in an alley and did some things I’m not proud of. I told him he couldn’t come to the city anymore.

 

_Celty: What did you do to him? He can’t come to the city? Isn’t that good?_

_Shizuo sighed, taking out a cigarette and lighting it. The nicotine calmed him down a little. He sent Celty another text._

 

Shizuo: I don’t wanna talk about it. And yeah, it’s great but he’s crafty. If he goes after you guys somehow let me know.

 

Celty: Okay, I will. I’ll tell Shinra too. And Shizuo

There was a small pause and then.

 

_Celty: Don’t do anything else you’ll regret._

_Shizuo laughed weakly and took a long drag off his cigarette._

_Shizuo: Easier said than done. I gotta sleep though, we’ll talk more later._

 

_Celty: Okay. Goodnight._

_Shizuo: Night._

 

Shizuo sighed, letting his phone drop onto the table. He was exhausted and still felt guilty. He put his phone on the charger and went to bed. He wanted today to be over.


	6. Chapter 6

Izaya bolted up in bed, a strangled cry escaping past the tightness in his throat. He scrambled to escape from the tangle of blankets, scratching his arm almost hard enough to bleed in the process. When he was free he bolted to the bathroom and barely made it to the toilet before the bile expelled from his throat.

 

He spent what seemed like forever retching into the toilet, limbs shaking and head pounding. When it seemed like the worst of it was over he collapsed to the floor and pressed his overheated forehead to the cool tile floor. The dream that had caused his current situation drifting back through his mind.

 

Shizuo had decided to kill him instead of deal with all the trouble he always seemed to cause. It was the most bone-chillingly terrifying dream he’d ever experienced. He could swear his bones still ached from the swan dive he’d been forced to make off the Sunshine 60 building.

 

He bit out a shaky curse and forced himself to his feet. He needed to get the disgusting taste of bile out of his mouth and calm down. It was only a dream. Even he knew Shizuo could never bring himself to purposely kill somebody, even if it was his worst enemy.

 

Even so Izaya couldn’t stop shaking.  Izaya brushed his teeth and settled in front of his computer with a cup of tea, hoping to distract himself by doing some work. He’d barely made any progress when his phone rang. He picked it up without checking caller Id, immersed in the information he was reading.

 

“Hello?”

 

“Ah… Izaya.”

 

Izaya grit his teeth, fresh anger shooting through him.

 

“Hello Shinra. Call to apologize for ruining my life?”

 

There was silence from the other end of the line and Izaya tensed. Shinra took a deep breath.

 

“I am sorry. But if you and Shizuo don’t find a way to work this out you will die. He had to be informed. I’m sorry that it resulted in whatever it is he did.”

  
Izaya frowned.

 

“Oh so Shizuo told you he did something but not what.”

 

He could hear Shira shuffling in the background.

 

“Ah well, he told Celty that he did something he regretted. But he also said he ordered you to stay out of Ikebukuro.”

 

And suddenly Izaya was enraged, his eyes narrowing into slits as he clenched the phone hard enough to make his fingers ache.

 

“Something he regrets!? That’s a significant down play on how I feel. And don’t expect me to just forgive you either! That monster is the worst form of human, and you had to go deliver my biggest weakness to him on a silver platter.”

 

Shinra sighed into the phone.

 

“I know I can’t really say anything to make it better, it’s useless since I know you won’t forgive me. But for our friendships sake please try to work things out with Shizuo. I know it’s hard to believe but I am in fact one of those special few people who don’t want you to die. I do have your best interests at heart”

 

Izaya felt a pang in his heart at the reminder and suddenly there were tears in his eyes. Stupid fucking mood swings, this band was the worst curse.

 

“Whatever Shinra, don’t try to play friendly now. You had your chance. I have plans to put in motion so I have to go. Don’t get to comfortable.”

 

He hung up before Shinra could get another word in. Smiling vindictively as he pictured Shinra frowning at the phone. It’s not that he wanted Shinra dead, nor did he want to lose his only friend, but he couldn’t let something like this slide with an apology. Something had to be done.

 

Riding on the wave of fresh hurt and anger he quickly made another call. He had a plan to follow.

 

~pov switch~

 

Shizuo woke up feeling like shit. He’d barely slept, tossing and turning as the guilt and worry ate away at him. He knew Izaya would find some way to get revenge, Shizuo would bet his brother’s life on Izaya already having some fucked up plan to get back at him.

 

Hell, Shizuo was tempted to let whatever it was play out as long as it didn’t backlash on the people he cared about. Though Shinra would almost definitely be a target as well, probably to a lesser degree since Izaya actually cared for Shinra.

 

Shizuo had just stepped out of the shower when his phone range. His brow furrowed at the name on the caller Id. Why was Izaya calling him? He answered it despite the sense of dread creeping up his spine.

 

“Hello?”

 

“Shizu-chan~ I’ll bet you didn’t expect to hear from me so soon.”

 

Shizuo sighed, rubbing at his temples as a headache was already forming.

 

“No, I really didn’t. But I’m glad you called.”

 

He almost smiled as he heard Izaya’s breath hitch through the phone, that must have been a shock.

 

“Listen, what I did was unacceptable. You have a right to be furious at me, if you want some kind of revenge I understand. But I promise right now I’ll never command you again. It’s not right. I’m sorry.”

 

There was a long silence at that and Shizuo could only imagine the flabbergasted look that must be on Izaya’s face. He heard Izaya take a long breath.

 

“I can’t accept your apology…”

 

Shizuo nodded even though Izaya couldn’t see it, he’d expected as much. Izaya wasn’t finished.

 

“But…. Shinra seems to think we should work out our differences. We should probably make the attempt. Considering that we’re apparently…. “

 

Shizuo knew what Izaya was trying to say, it was incredibly difficult for him to accept that they were apparently meant to be. He was honestly surprised at how calm Izaya sounded. It was suspicious but he figured as long as he was vigilant talking things out couldn’t hurt. Best case scenario he and Izaya actually get along for once.

 

“Yeah we should talk. I’ll meet you in Shinjuku. Anywhere you want to go.”

 

He heard Izaya hum thoughtfully.

 

“Why don’t you just come to my apartment. We can talk in peace here.”

 

Shizuo frowned slightly at the thought of walking into a potential trap but he had to attempt to trust Izaya if any of this was going to work out.

 

“Fine, I’ll head over right away.”

 

Izaya laughed lightly into the phone and Shizuo felt a light shudder wrack his spine as Izaya purred.

 

“Can’t wait.”

 

Shizuo shut his phone on the dial tone and stood there for a second, frowning at nothing. Could he really trust this? But Izaya was deserving of some kind of penance really. Half of his mind scoffed at him, Izaya had made his life hell for years why should he feel sorry? But the other half was saying they’d never actually given Izaya a chance in the first place. Shizuo had taken one look at him and tried to punch him, Izaya had only retaliated fairly.

 

Shizuo had definitely started the rivalry off even if Izaya was the one who kept fanning the flames. Neither of them were innocent in this, the sudden realization that Shizuo could have had his preferred peace all along if he’d just kept his cool during that first meeting was like a slap to the face.

 

He cursed as he threw on some clothes, not his bartender uniform since he didn’t want it slashed if a fight started. He stormed out of his house and headed for the bus stop. If he could go back in time and ring both his own and Izaya’s neck then he’d be happy as could be. He boarded the bus and slumped into a seat. Scowling at his own reflection, hopefully this day wouldn’t go too badly. But he was dealing with Izaya so he wouldn’t get his hopes up.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The long awaited talk between Shizuo and Izaya.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woo boy this is a heck of a chapter, here's the long awaited talk!

Shizuo glared at the door to Izaya’s apartment. He’d been standing outside for nearly 20 minutes but he couldn’t work up the nerve to knock. He was half convinced he’d walk straight into a trap.

 

He still couldn’t believe that he’d done something so unforgivable, even if it was Izaya he’d done it too. Being face to face with the man would force him to think about it. He took a steadying breath and knocked on the door, might as well get it over with.

 

Izaya opened the door almost immediately, his face suspiciously blank. Shizuo hesitated. Izaya looked fine on the surface but his skin was paler than normal and he seemed exhausted, the band around his throat seemed to stand out more than usual as well. Izaya sighed.

 

“Well come inside.”

 

He turned and disappeared back into the apartment but left the door open. Shizuo frowned but stepped in and closed the door behind him. He’d been to Izaya’s apartment before but he always had an odd feeling about it. Sure, it was a nice place but it felt unlived in, like a picture in a magazine or an office building.

 

He toed off his shoes and looked around, he could hear Izaya in the kitchen and he followed the noises. Izaya grabbed two tea cups from the cabinet and poured some tea.

 

“It’s a fresh batch.”

 

He handed Shizuo a cup and stepped past him to head to the living room.

 

Shizuo frowned. Izaya seemed abnormally quiet and serious. What if he’d poisoned the tea? Well he’d poured it from the same pot so if he avoided his Shizuo would know. He followed Izaya back to the living room. Izaya was sitting on the couch and Shizuo took the chair to the side. He figured he’d start the conversation off.

 

“So, what did you want to talk about?”

 

Izaya’s mouth twisted slightly like he was holding back a grimace and he took a sip of his tea while he thought. Shizuo was glad to know the tea wasn’t poisoned at least.

 

“First would be the… ‘bond’.”

 

He practically spat the last word and Shizuo could understand why. Izaya had definitely gotten the worst possible end of the stick.

 

“Ah yeah… The book said you’ll die if you don’t accept it but I’m not sure what that really means. Do you have to just accept that it’s a thing or does it want us to spend more time together?”

 

Izaya heaved a deep sigh.

 

“I don’t know. That’s the problem really. There’s too many unknown factors. I’ve done hours or research on the legend and I could barely find anything. Nobody even knows if the band only affects the wearer or if the other person is also affected in some ways. For all we know it could be putting thoughts in your head without you even noticing.”

 

Shizuo feels cold at the thought. That… makes a certain amount of sense. If the bond wanted them together and it accomplished that through… basically servitude then it actually might be affecting his brain as well. It would explain his actions from the other day, not that they weren’t still his fault though.

 

“Actually, that might be true.”

 

Izaya really did grimace then.

 

“In that case you should try to examine your own thoughts before taking action. If it seems out of character then it’s probably the bond.”

 

His eyes flashed as he suddenly made eye contact.

 

“Not that I’ll suddenly forgive what you did even if that was the bond. It was inexcusable.”

 

Shizuo looks away, hunching his shoulders uncomfortably.

 

“Yeah I know. And I know sorry won’t cover it either.”

 

Izaya narrowed his eyes slightly like he was thinking something over. He looked stiff.

 

“At least you can recognize that at least. Well apologies are meaningless but I might be nice to see you grovel a little.”

 

Shizuo felt a spark of annoyance and he couldn’t help but growl a little.

 

“Izaya…”

 

He said it as a warning, cutting the sentence short on an insult or an order… or both. But Izaya’s eyes widened and the collar seemed to shine. Izaya quickly turned his head away.

 

“No need to take things so seriously Shizu-chan.”

 

But his voice had a definite waver to it. Shizuo’s brow furrowed in concern.

 

“Ah, what did I do wrong just then?”

 

Because it seemed like the collar had definitely reacted and in a way Izaya hadn’t expected. Izaya turned to him with an obviously forced smile.

 

“Nothing you could control Shizu-chan. Fate just seems to hate me an unusual amount.”

 

Shizuo scoffed at that.

 

“Some might say you deserve this.”

 

Izaya tensed like a bowstring.

 

“Some might say I deserve anything that happens to me but let me remind you that there are much worse people than me that go free and undisturbed every day. Murderers, child abusers, terrorists,”

 

His gaze cut to Shizuo and his eyes were cold.

 

“Rapists. They all are much worse than I am and plenty of them go undisturbed. If fate had a grudge against ‘bad people’ than its hit list must be very disorganized. I’ve never claimed to be a good person but I’m far from the worst.”

 

Shizuo’s stomach twisted with discomfort. Izaya was right. He’d spent a long time blaming Izaya for his problems. Izaya set a gang against him or Izaya provoked him to violence but it was really his fault because he never could control his temper and Izaya just took advantage of that.

 

Izaya had never once said he was a good person, even when they first met and Shinra had called him an asshole as an introduction. Izaya hadn’t denied it. Shizuo often called Izaya the worst but there were definitely worse people out there.

 

“You’re right.”

 

Izaya nodded, that annoying smirk on his face.

 

“Of course, I’m right.”

 

Izaya hesitated a moment and then his features softened a little.

 

“Given that we’re apparently meant to be I think we should attempt to get along better. We’ll have to meet to talk more often.”

 

Shizuo felt his suspicion flare up once more. He tried to keep his voice calm.

 

“About what I did… I understand if you want me to make up for it somehow, anyway you want.”

 

Izaya sat back against the couch.

 

“Well I’d like it if you’d let me back into the city, you said you wouldn’t order me anymore but I’d appreciate you rescinding your previous order.”

 

Shizuo’s mouth tugged down slightly. Izaya looked relaxed but it seemed to deliberate. He didn’t want to have Izaya in the city till he was sure that Izaya wasn’t going to try something but… Izaya might be serious about this truce and if Shizuo didn’t trust him then things could turn sour… it was a lose – lose situation either way.

 

“Not yet.”

 

Izaya opened his mouth to protest but Shizuo wasn’t finished.

 

“I can’t be sure you aren’t lying to me. I do want to trust you but given both are track records I think it would be best if I wait till we’ve talked more than once. I’m sorry.”

 

Izaya frowned and his shoulders tensed.

 

“Fine. If that’s how you feel.”

 

His eyes flashed to the wall clock.

 

“I have an appointment with a client soon so you should leave.”

 

Shizuo sighed, this was a bad sign. Izaya was on the defensive but he had to respect his wishes for now.

 

“Fine. Text me when you’re free to meet again.”

 

Izaya waved his hand dismissively and scooped up both their tea cups to bring to the kitchen. Shizuo watched him go with a feeling of unease but he didn’t wait around. He slipped on his shoes and left without a word.

 

-

 

Izaya shuddered at the sound of the door closing. He let the counter hold his weight as he sagged in relief. The whole conversation had left him shaken and it had been exceedingly difficult to not let Shizuo see him upset. It had gotten worse as the talk went on but the way Shizuo had growled his name… the flash of instant arousal had nearly broken his composure. He hated this.

 

The band forced him to react to Shizuo in anyway it wanted, and it may be controlling Shizuo to an extent as well… that thought was terrifying. If the band forced Shizuo into certain actions, without Shizuo even being aware…

 

Izaya took a shaky breath. That was the worst possible scenario. Shizuo was too perceptive for his own good it seemed, he hadn’t granted Izaya the permission he needed. He’d have to sit through more pointless uncomfortable meetings before he could kill Shizuo off once and for all.

 

He was tempted to just hire an assassin now but he had no way of knowing if the band would disappear or if he’d be forced out of Ikebukuro forever. He may even die as well if Shizuo died… the thought was sobering but he couldn’t just let this slide. Maybe if he found a way to keep Shizuo away from him then Shizuo could live but for now he’d keep to the plan.

 

Speaking of the plan; he sent Celty a text asking her to make a delivery. Shinra was sure to suffer if Celty did as well. Izaya wouldn’t get her hurt but he could keep her busy with more dangerous jobs for now. He’d put the bigger plan for Shinra into action later.

 

Another knock sounded at his door and he forced his walls into place, he had a client to meet with after all.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Both our boys do some thinking. Save them omg

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The lovely and amazing Bad_romance helped look over this chapter to make sure it flowed well! She's the best <3

_Izaya couldn't see anything. His emotions were all over the place but the foremost one was need. He wasn't sure what was going on, everything seemed distorted, but the longer he focused the more he could make out his situation. The first thing he noticed was his lack of clothing, he still couldn't see but there was a draft over his skin. He could feel the press of fabric over his eyes indicating a blindfold._

_Warm hands trailed along his legs and he sighed through his nose, it felt nice, he let those hands guide his legs apart so he was spread to whoever it was in front of him. There was no indication of who was touching him, the hands were large and rough with callouses but surprisingly gentle as they trailed along his skin. The caress slid down from his thighs to his calves and back up before warm lips pressed to his knee. The kisses trailed upwards as the hands worked down till his ankles were gripped gently and his legs were spread wider as a wet tongue slid up his inner thigh._

_Izaya's mouth opened in a heated gasp and his hips twitched. He'd only just noticed the burn of arousal throughout his body but now that he’d noticed it was all he could think about. He let a series of needy noises fall from his lips. He couldn't seem to form words. A low, rumbling laugh rang out and Izaya's whole body buzzed with heat. It was a familiar laugh but he couldn't place it. He had no idea who was touching him right now. The only thing he was certain of was they were male._

_The man's hands trailed up to his hips as soft kisses were pressed to his belly. Izaya's hands jerked against ropes he hadn't even know were restraining him as the man licked a slow line up Izaya's body until Izaya could feel the heat of the other covering him completely. He could feel the weight on the bed shifting and the mattress sank down on either side of him. The man was leaning over him and Izaya whined softly, he wished he could see who was touching him._

_His thoughts scattered as soft lips pressed to his in a chaste kiss before pulling back. Izaya made a needy noise in the back of his throat and arched his back so he could lean up and re-capture those lips. He tried to lead the kiss towards passion but the other man didn't meet his pace, instead he kept it slow and sweet. To contrast this the man let their hips roll together and Izaya let out a heated whimper. The other man was naked as well and his rather sizable cock was pressed right to Izaya's hip as they rocked together._

_The man deepened the kiss and his hands hooked under Izaya's legs to wrap them around the man's waist. Izaya moaned as he lost himself to the feeling of skin on skin. Their hips rocked together sending sparks of pleasure up Izaya's spine. Eventually he pulled away from the kiss with a heated whimper and the man took that opportunity to wrap one of his hands around both their cocks._

_Izaya gasped at the increased stimulation and didn't take him long to reach orgasm after that, the man followed quickly after and collapsed on top of Izaya. They didn't move for a long moment but then the man trailed kisses to Izaya's neck. Izaya's head tilted back to give the man room, something clicked around his neck it pressed harder against his jugular as the man pressed a kiss to what Izaya could only assume was a collar._

_"Izaya. Love me."_

 

_Something sparked against his neck and Izaya's whole body jolted with heat._

_"Shizu-"_

 

Izaya woke up in a cold sweat. For one long moment he was too disoriented to recognize where he was. When he did he draped his arm over his eyes, a curse slipping out through gritted teeth. What an awful dream, as if he'd ever let Shizuo do something like that. His body didn't seem to share his opinion but he refused to acknowledge the heat in his groin, instead he got up to slip into a cold shower.

 

The clock on the wall read 4:47 a.m. but Izaya was almost certain going back to sleep wouldn't be possible at this point anyway. He stepped into the cool water and shivered, he wasn’t a fan of cold showers. When he was dry and changed he went to the kitchen to make himself some tea.

 

He was so tired of the collar ruining his life. He'd never wanted to feel anything but hatred for Shizuo, though if he was being honest with himself he'd never really hated Shizuo in the first place. He'd thought himself long over his high school infatuation with the other man but then fate had to go and ruin everything and make him remember it. He did. not. want. this.

 

He scoffed in disgust at the whole situation, stomach rolling with all the different emotions flashing though his body. He needed a distraction, anything would do. He took his tea to the main room and turned on the television. He wrapped a light blanket around his shoulders and hoped that the tv would take his mind off things for a while at least the tea seemed to be helping calm his stomach. He flipped the channel till he found a documentary on birds and an hour later he was fast asleep against the arm of the couch.

 

-

 

Shizuo was on his third cigarette in two hours. He had the day off and had decided to spend it at home. His kept spinning the events of the past few days over in his mind. The talk with Izaya hadn't soothed any of his worries, it had even managed to add a few. The bond was controlling them both in different ways, it wasn't a good sign. Shizuo could be optimistic though, all he could do was hope for the best really. Even if it was Izaya the thought that there was somebody meant just for him was pretty nice. He'd always thought he was doomed to be alone forever. If they could ever work past their differences then the bond wouldn't even be a problem after that.

 

Shizuo scoffed a bit and put out his cigarette. It wasn't going to be easy. He'd never thought of Izaya as anything other than a pest but he was starting to re-evaluate things. If Izaya really was willing to try and make this work then Shizuo would put in the effort as well. Shizuo picked up the book Shinra had loaned him and flipped to the page again to re-read the passage. There was nothing there about the bond controlling both people involved but that didn't mean it didn't happen. There was no telling what could really happen when a supposed legend becomes reality.

 

Shizuo tossed the book aside with a scowl and reached for his phone. He wouldn't normally do this but he needs someone to talk to about this. He sends a quick text to Kasuka before he can change his mind.

_Shizuo: Are you busy right now?_

 

It takes a few minutes but he gets a response.

 

_Kasuka: Yes, but I'll be done soon._

_Kasuka: What is it?_

 

Shizuo hesitates a moment, he doesn't really want to get Kasuka involved in this. He needs some advice on this though and Kasuka is his best option.

 

_Shizuo: Can you come over when you finish?_

 

The next text comes quickly.

 

_Kasuka: Yes_

 

Shizuo sighs in relief and lets his phone drop to the couch beside him. His brother always has good advice, he'll know what to do. It'll be good to share it with somebody as well. His gut twists when he realizes that he might have someone to talk to but Izaya doesn't. He tries to shake the thought away, Izaya only has himself to blame if he doesn't have any friends. He forcefully ignores the heavy feeling in his gut and gets up to clean up his apartment a bit before Kasuka arrives. He already feels guilty enough already.

 

-

 

Izaya has a lead on the mole. It's not a big lead but it the first one he's found. He'd so deep in concentration that he actually jumps slightly when his phone goes off. Reluctantly he turns to pick it up. He checks caller ID and frowns as he accepts the call.

 

"What do you want?"

 

Shinra laughs a bit on the other end but he sounds strained.

 

"Is that any way to speak to a friend?"

 

Izaya's frown deepened.

 

"I don't remember you doing anything worthy of that title. You must have a wrong number."

 

Shinra's voice loses its cheery edge.

 

"Why did you send Celty on such a dangerous delivery?"

 

Izaya smirks, that didn't take long.

 

"Celty went of her own free will. She doesn't have to take jobs from me."

 

A scoff rang out from Shinra's end.

 

"You didn't exactly warn her of any danger. Well it's not like she would get hurt but you know she's scared of the cops."

 

Izaya faked a concerned noise.

 

"I had no idea the cops would even be involved. Did she get away alright?"

 

Shinra scoffed again.

 

"She's fine, my Celty is the best!"

 

His voice dropped a bit deeper.

 

"Just leave Celty out of your plans if you ever want to rekindle this friendship. If she gets hurt because of you I'll hurt you much worse."

 

Izaya went cold. There wasn't a shred of humor in Shinra's voice. He was dead serious.

 

"Fine. I'll leave your precious Celty alone. Happy?"

 

Shinra cheered right up.

 

"Very. I didn't think you'd go that far but I had to be sure~ Well I'll let you get back to plotting your 'revenge' now."

 

Izaya glared as Shinra hung up on him and set his phone on his desk before throwing on his jacket and storming out of the apartment. He needed some fresh air and a distraction from the twisting in his gut.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Izaya knew that some people willingly submitted to a similar form of relationship, collar and all, but it was a mutual relationship still. Both parties had the ability to call off the power imbalance and consent was key. Fate seemed to be the sadistic type who liked to force others into toxic situations, though Izaya could admit that to some degree he might deserve this it was just a bit too extreme, too unbalanced.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took a little while but I finally managed to force myself to write something. Hope you guys enjoy this chapter <3

Izaya stalks down the street, the dark look on his face more than enough to keep people away from him. The buzz of stress is his constant companion, but he doesn't want to go back to his empty apartment. He kicks at a rock in his path and his scowl deepens when he thinks of Shizuo. He wants things back the way they were before, this whole soulmate situation was terribly stacked in Shizuo's favor. Even if they ever could get along how would a healthy relationship even be possible with such a power imbalance in place?

 

Izaya knew that some people willingly submitted to a similar form of relationship, collar and all, but it was a mutual relationship still. Both parties had the ability to call off the power imbalance and consent was key. Fate seemed to be the sadistic type who liked to force others into toxic situations, though Izaya could admit that to some degree he might deserve this it was just a bit too extreme, too unbalanced. Submit or die, a simple choice to some maybe but who's to say that submitting to Shizuo won't end in his death anyway? What if the bond can't overcome Shizuo's hatred for him, or if Shizuo loses control of his temper and Izaya is nearby as the most convenient target? There's just too many possibilities, let alone that Izaya had been determined to hate Shizuo since high school.

 

He still can't forgive what Shizuo did too him either, he shudders as he remembers the humiliating pleasure, he can't allow that to happen again. Even if Shizuo promised to never use commands again it doesn't mean he'll keep his word. If he gets mad or just decides a promise to a 'flea' doesn't matter as much as revenge... Izaya doesn't want to think about it. He's distracted from his thoughts by a sleek black car pulling up beside him, the window rolls down slowly revealing Shiki.

 

"Orihara-san."

 

Shiki says in greeting and Izaya pulls up a calm smile.

 

"Good afternoon, Shiki-san~ What can I help you with today?"

 

His hands tighten into fists in his jacket pockets, he does not need this today. Shiki gives him an unreadable look.

 

"Get in the car, we have some things to discuss."

 

Izaya only hesitates a moment before reaching out for the handle, denying Shiki isn't a smart decision no matter how much he just wants to be left alone. He opens the door and slides onto the soft leather seat before closing the door behind him. The car pulls away from the curb the moment he closes the door, but Izaya doesn't pay that fact much attention, he's used to this.

 

"I'm all ears, Shiki-san."

 

Shiki takes a puff of his cigarette before replying.

 

"Any news on the mole yet?"

 

He figured that's what this would be about.

 

"A few things, nothing concrete yet. He's good at hiding."

 

It would be easier if he could go to Ikebukuro but he's not going to reveal that to Shiki. The Awakusu executive nods and flicks his ashes into the car ashtray.

 

"As our best informant I'd hoped you'd have more by now, surely you can do better than this?"

 

Izaya's smile strains at that, Shiki doubting his abilities is definitely a bad thing.

 

"I assure you I've been working very hard on this, I'm sure I'll find what I need very soon."

 

Shiki gives him a calculating look, a long silence falling over the vehicle.

 

"You'd better Orihara-san."

 

Izaya is about to reply but a sudden bolt of pain flashes up his spine and he doubles over in the seat with a choked groan, the pain gets worse and worse as he sits there, and he can feel the collar sparking against his neck. Shiki's driver must have taken them to Ikebukuro, he curses his luck. Shiki's voice filters through the pain clouding his thoughts.

 

"Orihara-san? Are you alright?"

 

There's concern in his voice and Izaya bites back a pained whimper. He forces himself to ignore the pain, the faster he can finish his conversation with Shiki the sooner he can go back to Shinjuku. He manages to sit up, ignoring the insistent sparking of the collar, at least Shiki can't see it since it's covered by his jacket. He swallows once and forces a smile.

 

"I'm fine."

 

Shiki raises his eyebrow at that.

 

"Are you sure about that?"

 

Izaya nods.

 

"I'm sure, thank you for your concern though."

 

Shiki looks him up and down with disbelief written over his expression but, he drops the subject.

 

"Then I'll end this conversation here, don't forget what we discussed, Orihara-san."

 

Izaya nods as gracefully as he can.

 

"I'll be sure to find him as soon as I can, Shiki-san. Have a good afternoon."

 

The pain gets worse with every second and all he can think of is the need to leave, to get out of the city and get rid of this pain.

 

Shiki nods and the car slows and pulls up by the curb. Izaya has to stop himself from scrambling for the handle but he manages to go a normal pace. Just as he's about to exit the car Shiki speaks up.

 

"Take care of yourself Orihara-san, you don't look well."

 

He steps out of the car and nods to Shiki from the sidewalk.

 

"I will, Shiki-san."

 

He closes the door and Shiki's driver pulls away from the curb. The car drives out of sight and Izaya's legs nearly buckle as the pain increases again, he can't stop the sharp whimper that falls past his clenched teeth and he leans against the wall of a nearby building to steady himself. At least the street he's on is empty so nobody can witness his pitiful display, eventually he manages to get used to the pain level enough that he can walk without faltering. It's going to be a hellish walk back to Shinjuku.

 

\--

 

Shizuo waits nervously for Kasuka to speak. He'd just finished explaining the situation and had even showed his brother the book. For a long moment there was only silence as Kasuka thought it over then,

 

"It seems to me like you've both made a lot of mistakes in this. Until he can come to terms with this and accept it there's not much you can do but continue the meetings he wants to set up and try to convince him that you really do want things to be better. If you two are truly meant to be I'm sure it will work out in the end."

 

Shizuo sighs, running his hand through his hair.

 

"That's the thing, Izaya can be even more stubborn than I can sometimes. I don't know if he even will accept it and if he doesn't he'll die..."

 

It's all so complicated and stressful and Shizuo doesn't know if he can handle any of it. Kasuka gives him a sympathetic look.

 

"If fate is real then anything that does happen would happen no matter what you do, so if he dies it was meant to happen, simple as that."

 

Shizuo blinks, he hadn't thought of it that way. It makes sense, but it seems too convenient, almost like it could be used to excuse any mistakes on his part.

 

"I don't think that's how it works..."

 

Kasuka nods.

 

"Maybe not but even if he refuses to accept the bond it won't be your fault. Just talk with him, get him to trust you. If neither of you work for it, you'll never get along."

 

Shizuo nods, shoulders drooping, it won't be easy but maybe if he just tries hard enough things will turn out alright. He's about to reply to Kasuka when an odd feeling shudders up his spine and he knows instantly that Izaya is in the city. His brow furrows, shouldn't his order have kept him out? Something is odd here. If Izaya disobeys an order he feels pain but as the feeling doesn’t go away and just gets stronger Shizuo gets the urge to go to him and the longer his sits here the more he feels the need to leave.

 

Kasuka is giving him a concerned look.

 

"Brother? Is something wrong?"

 

Shizuo tries to shake the feeling off but it's impossible.

 

"Something's weird... I gotta go. You can wait here if you want?"

 

Kasuka frowns slightly.

 

"I have to get back to work, call if you need something."

 

Shizuo nods, distracted by the buzzing under his skin.

 

"See you later."

 

He mutters, the feeling guiding him to his feet before he even realizes it. The only thing he can think of is his need to get to Izaya.

 

'He broke the rules'

 

Something inside him whispers.

 

'He's in pain somewhere.'

 

A different part whispers and Shizuo grits his teeth and forces the feeling aside so he can think. Kasuka is still looking at him in concern and Shizuo sighs.

 

"Sorry, something's wrong with Izaya."

 

Kasuka shakes his head, getting to his feet as well.

 

"I figured that had to be the problem. I'll see you some other time."

 

Shizuo gives Kasuka a soft smile, ignoring the buzzing building in his skull.

 

"Alright, good luck with your new project."

 

Kasuka nods, a small smile lighting his features.

 

"Good luck with your problem, Shizuo."

 

And he leaves Shizuo following close behind to watch as Kasuka makes it safely to his car and his driver pulls away from the curb with a wave to Shizuo but Shizuo doesn't wave back, too distracted by the bond to notice. As soon as Kasuka's car is out of sight he sets off in search of Izaya, the buzz of his thoughts guiding him as he goes.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Take me to your place."  
> Izaya mutters and even though Shizuo is surprised, he doesn't comment on it, just picks Izaya up and carries him home.

Izaya is curled up against a wall when he finds him, sharp pained gasps repeatedly falling past his lips. Shizuo frowns and crouches next to Izaya, who doesn't seem to even notice he's there at all.

 

"Izaya..."

 

He reaches up to rest his hand on Izaya's shoulder but pulls it back when Izaya flinches.

 

"What are you doing here?"

 

He asks gently and it seems to take Izaya an eternity to answer.

 

"I was... driven here..."

 

He explains between pained gasps.

 

"N-not my fault!"

 

He whimpers a bit desperately and Shizuo nods, the part of him that was grumbling about broken rules relaxes and all that's left behind is concern.

 

"Hey, it's okay."

 

Shizuo says softly, like he's talking to a small animal.

 

"Don't feel bad about it. I allow you to be in the city."

 

He doesn't want Izaya to be hurting because of him, and isn't that a weird realization. Izaya relaxes as the pain seems to leave him and he slumps against the wall with a slight shudder, Shizuo sighs.

 

"Do you want to go home still? My place is closer if you want to relax for a bit."

 

He's not sure why he offered to bring Izaya to his place, or what he's hoping Izaya will choose, all he knows is he wants Izaya to feel better.

 

"Take me to your place."

 

Izaya mutters and even though Shizuo is surprised, he doesn't comment on it, just picks Izaya up and carries him home.

 

\--

 

He's not sure why he's here, he knows how it happened (and isn't it just pitiful that Shizuo of all people was comforting him) but why he agreed to be here is a mystery to him. He sips the tea Shizuo made him and eyes the man from his spot on the couch. Shizuo really is attractive, all lean muscle and pretty face, and why he's thinking like that is a mystery as well. He shoves the thoughts aside as Shizuo brings over some cup noodle.

 

"Sorry, this is all I have for now."

 

Shizuo looks embarrassed and guarded, like he thinks Izaya will make fun of him for it. Izaya just accepts it with a quiet thanks and starts to eat as Shizuo sits next to him. It's strange, how peaceful things are between them at the moment, he'd have never believed it possible a week ago. They both eat in silence and once they're done Shizuo coughs awkwardly.

 

"So... why were you in the city?"

 

Izaya sighs, he should have expected this really.

 

"A client of mine wanted to talk and his driver happened to take us here, unfortunately."

 

Shizuo nods, frowning a bit at the mention of a client. Izaya is a bit impressed at Shizuo's restraint, usually any mention of Izaya is enough to have him in a rage let alone Izaya's "shady business", it's astounding that Shizuo hasn't tried to kill him even once through this whole endeavor.

 

Shizuo speaks up again after a long, pensive silence.

 

"You should stay the night."

 

He's careful to phrase it as a suggestion and not an order. Izaya appreciates that even as he frowns at the request.

 

"Why?"

 

Shizuo shifts uncomfortably.

 

"It's pretty late, it's not good for you to walk home alone at night."

 

They both know Izaya can take care of himself so Izaya's a bit confused.

 

"I don't think that's the real reason you want me to stay."

 

It is sounding more and more like a good idea though and he wonders if that's the collars fault or if he should blame his subconscious. Shizuo sighs, running a hand through his hair.

 

"I don't know... I just think it would be a really good idea."

 

Izaya nods, that's probably the bond talking at least. He's reluctant to refuse the offer, its a long walk back, just because he can defend himself doesn't mean the idea of an attack is any less daunting, he's exhausted... Shizuo is probably the type to sleep without a shirt- Where did that thought come from?? A slight blush spreads across his cheeks and it's his turn to cough awkwardly.

 

"Fine, I'll stay for the night."

 

Hopefully he doesn't regret it.

 

\--

 

Shizuo is confused. He doesn't know why Izaya is blushing but he's glad Izaya agreed to stay. He pushes aside his confusion as unimportant and stands to get rid of their dinner trash.

 

"Do you need to borrow a pair of my pajamas? I'm not sure if they'll fit you at all but you're welcome to try."

 

Izaya nods.

 

"I doubt any pants would fit but if you could loan me a shirt that would be nice."

 

He heads to his room to find a shirt for Izaya, a strange feeling curling in his chest at the thought of Izaya wearing his clothes.

 

"Here you go."

 

he mutters as he hands it too Izaya who takes it with a polite thanks and goes to the bathroom to change. Shizuo busies himself with finding some bedding for the couch, his extra blanket and pillow are at the back of his closet and by the time he pulls them out Izaya is back. As soon as he sees Izaya his mouth goes suddenly dry, his shirt is much to big on Izaya and almost hangs low enough to cover his boxers. All in all Izaya looks both adorable and tempting in a way Shizuo had never thought about before. He swallows and hands Izaya the bedding.

 

"H-here. My room is just through there, if you need anything you can wake me up."

 

Izaya nods, bending over to spread the blanket over the couch and Shizuo blushes at the view.

 

"Who'd have thought Shizu-chan would be good with hospitality."

 

Izaya jokes softly and Shizuo is too focused on how good Izaya's thighs look to get annoyed at it.

 

"Yeah yeah, flea."

 

He replies gruffly to keep up appearances.

 

"Good night."

 

Izaya settles onto the couch and pulls his the blanket over him.

 

"Good night, Shizu-chan."

 

He shuts off the lights in the living room and retreats to his own bed quickly, his brain still stuck on the memory of Izaya's thighs. He feels like a pervert, Izaya doesn't want anything to do with him, especially after what he's done, but Shizuo can't help but look and he's not sure if he's the one looking or if the bond is making him look but it's probably a mix of both, he's always found Izaya attractive after all. He shakes off the thoughts and changes for bed but it takes him a long time too fall asleep.  



	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He shakes his head to help clear his thoughts and takes a deep breath.
> 
> "Shizu-chan... Tell me what to do~"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was so fun to write tbh! Enjoy the beginnings of the slow descent~ Will Izaya ever even manage to extract revenge? Who knows~ (no really I just make all this up on the spot, I have no real plans) Reviews would be wonderful please! Thank you to everyone who's left one so far <3

Shizuo can feel himself starting to wake up and he huffs reluctantly, cuddling closer to the warm feeling held in his arms. What feels like a particularly solid pillow huffs back, something soft but firm butting under his chin. That, more than anything, wakes Shizuo up and he blinks his eyes open, staring blankly at the sleeping figure in his arms. Izaya's sleeping face is peaceful and Shizuo finds himself staring for a long moment, fascinated by the sight before his brain finally wakes up enough to work properly.

 

When he finally recognizes the implications of who he's curled up with and his eyes go wide. His first instinct is to push Izaya away but he manages to stop himself, if he lets his emotions control his actions he might hurt Izaya, instead he shakes Izaya awake as gently as he can. There had better be a good explanation for this.

 

\--

 

Izaya jolts awake as something shakes him, he looks around blearily, feeling for his knife, before he realizes that this is not his apartment. He finally notices Shizuo looming over him and blushes, is this another dream? It seems too real for that... Why are they in the same bed?? Shizuo gives him an odd look.

 

"Is there a reason that you're in my bed?"

 

The blond asks gruffly and Izaya shrugs, belatedly realizing that he's still curled in close to Shizuo and pushes away, refusing to acknowledge how much he misses the warmth.

 

"I don't know... I'd assume it was the bond to blame..."

 

And that does seem to be the most likely answer. Izaya isn't prone to sleepwalking and if Shizuo had tried to pick him up Izaya would have woken. Shizuo sigh and mutters.

 

"One more thing to worry about..."

 

Izaya finds himself agreeing, assuming it really was the collar forcing him to sleep walk to Shizuo's bed is a step-up from the previous shows of power.

 

"Anyway, Shizuo, I'm going to leave now... Thanks for everything."

 

He slides out of bed quickly but as soon as he stands up the collar sparks and sends him right back down. Izaya yelps as he hits the bed and the collar flashes again, he only has a split second of dread before intense arousal spreads through his gut, Fate is pulling out all the stops it seems, but it can't control his free will even if it can prevent him from standing on his own. Izaya's gaze turns hazy and he's rock hard in his boxers... he hopes Shizuo hasn't noticed yet, or maybe he does want Shizuo to notice; that would be nice. He lets his gaze trail over Shizuo's bare chest,  _ he was right, definitely the type to sleep without a shirt, _ and he really needs to stop these thoughts right now. He shakes his head to help clear his thoughts and takes a deep breath.

 

"Shizu-chan...  _ Tell me what to do _ ~"

 

...That wasn't at all what he meant to say, the arousal pulsing in his gut and the steady thrum of the collar is messing with his mind.

 

"Th-that's not what I meant..."

 

He shudders and bites his tongue to hold in a whimper.

 

"Tell... Tell me to go... home."

 

It's incredibly difficult to force the words out, the bond practically shouting in his mind how good it would feel to let Shizuo have control, but that's not what he wants.  _ Yes it is, _ something inside him keeps insisting,  _ it would be everything you could ever hope for, _ he squishes the thought down as hard as he can and gives Shizuo a desperate look.

 

"Hurry..!"

 

It slips out as more of a whine than he intended but he doesn't care at the moment. This is the worst.

 

\--

 

Shizuo sits up when Izaya falls back to the bed, he goes to say something but then he notices the bulge in Izaya's boxers. Izaya is looking at him, definitely checking him out, but then Izaya shakes his head and seems to gain some clarity. Izaya's voice is full of heat and arousal when he orders Shizuo to command him and Shizuo can feel arousal stir inside him as well. The hazy look on Izaya's face is amazing and a part of him wants to ravage Izaya.  _ No, _ he thinks,  _ that’s not something you should even think about.  _ Izaya has made it very clear that’s not something he wants… even if the bond is controlling him.

 

Izaya explains that's not what he meant; the bond is definitely controlling his actions, that much is obvious, it still takes all he has to hold in a moan as Izaya whines for him. Fuck, he really needs to get Izaya out of here before the bond forces them both into a situation they aren't ready for. It's so tempting to give in to the desire though, he could have Izaya moaning under him so  _ easily _ . The memory of that first time still gets him hard, despite how ashamed that fact makes him, he uses that shame to pushes the desire aside as much as possible.

 

"Get dressed and g-go home... right now."

 

He forces out reluctantly, immediately Izaya's collar sparks and the relief in his eyes is clear as he stands. Shizuo knows he did the right thing but it doesn't stop disappointment from curling in his chest as he watches Izaya go, he's not sure if that's the bonds fault or not but he hopes so. As soon as Izaya is gone he flops to the bed with a groan, what a way to wake up.

 

He lays like that for a long moment before slowly sliding a hand into his pants, jerking himself hard and fast to the thought of Izaya. He feels bad about himself when he finishes but at least he managed to keep his self control while Izaya was in the room. The thought of Izaya on his knees for him is what finally throws him over the edge and he moans, laying there a bit longer before forcing himself to get up and into the shower. This whole collar situation really isn't much fun, especially since it’s forcing him to do things he’d have never done before hand.

 

He may be a bad person but he’d never been the type for sexual assault until the bond. Even if it wasn’t fully his fault he’s still disgusted with himself. Even after he’s done in the shower he doesn’t feel fully clean.

 

\--

 

As soon as he makes it home he drops to his knees with a whimper. The intense arousal hadn't once left him on the walk home and he was convinced it got worse the farther he was from Shizuo. He honestly doesn’t think he could have made it without Shizuo’s order forcing him to keep moving. The collar is punishing him and Izaya only barely has the will to resist. He stumbles to his bed quickly, stripping clothes as he goes. God, his skin is  _ burning _ as the lust pulses in his gut so hard it hurts. He closes a hand over himself with a pained whine, the skin almost too sensitive to touch.

 

He strokes himself slow and gentle, despite wanting to go so much faster, he doesn't think he could take a quicker pace than this. It's almost a surprise when his orgasm hits and he sobs through the  _ intensity _ of it. It feels so good, right up until the aftershocks stop and all he's left with is a sharp, empty ache. He finds himself craving Shizuo but he ignores it, he refuses to let the collar control him.

 

At least there's one good thing out of this situation, last night Shizuo gave him permission to be in the city. He didn't rescind it either, he can work again. The small victory doesn't really help lift his mood so he forces himself up and heads to the shower, today is just going to be a bad day.

 


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He's almost out of the city when he sees Shizuo, the blond is talking with his coworkers, a peaceful look on his face and something tugs in Izaya's chest. He ignores the feeling and turns to leave but before he can get out of sight a voice calls out.  
> "Izaya, wait!"  
> and the spark of his collar stops him cold.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's another chapter! Things are starting to get complicated and where this all could go is anyone's guess! Thank you for all the reviews last chapter! Anybody who'd like to send some this chapter I would greatly appreciate <3 Enjoy~!

Izaya only waits a day before going back to Ikebukuro, despite his reluctance to go he still needs to finish his job for Shiki and there's a chance that he might not even see Shizuo. He gathers what information he can about the mole, what he found will definitely help, and heads back towards Shinjuku.

 

He's almost out of the city when he sees Shizuo, the blond is talking with his coworkers, a peaceful look on his face and something tugs in Izaya's chest. He ignores the feeling and turns to leave but before he can get out of sight a voice calls out.

 

"Izaya, wait!"

 

and the spark of his collar stops him cold. He sighs and turns to face Shizuo with a pointed look. Shizuo gives him a sheepish look.

 

"Sorry, I didn't mean to order you around. I take it back."

 

Izaya nods in understanding, at least Shizuo can recognize what he did wrong.

 

"What did you want, Shizu-chan?"

 

He keeps his voice civil despite his discomfort, he doesn't know how much the band can control on it's own and hanging around Shizuo could be dangerous. Shizuo sighs.

 

"I think we should talk about yesterday."

 

Izaya frowns, they probably should.

 

"Not in public. Come to my apartment."

 

It's a risky suggestion but he'd rather be home where he feels more in control, plus talking about this in public has to much potential for eavesdroppers to learn his weakness. Shizuo nods.

 

"I gotta let Tom-san know but I'll meet you there."

 

Izaya waves dismissively and turns away as Shizuo goes back to his coworkers. He heads home and makes some tea as he waits for Shizuo to arrive, hopefully things don't go completely out of his control.

 

-

 

Shizuo thinks over what he wants to say on his way to Izaya’s apartment, everything’s been so complicated lately and just when it seemed like it might start to calm down soon the collar had to go throw a new wrench in their lives, it’s a mess.

 

Even worse was the dream he’d had last night, Izaya had begged so prettily for him to fuck him and he blushes just remembering the dream, he pushes the memories aside before he has an unwanted reaction. He’s already at Izaya’s apartment and Izaya definitely wouldn’t appreciate him showing up with a boner.

 

He knocks on the door and it opens a few moments later. Izaya lets him in with an unreadable look and Shizuo sighs as he sits on the couch, accepting the tea Izaya hands him with a nod of thanks.

 

Izaya sits across from him and crosses his legs.

 

“You start.”

 

Shizuo nods, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly.

 

“What exactly happened yesterday?”

 

It seems a good way to start. Izaya tenses at the question though so maybe not.

 

“The collar was manipulating my words and actions. It hazed over my thoughts which made it easier to mislead what I meant to say or do. It wasn’t truly controlling me but it’s still troublesome.”

 

Shizuo’s brow furrows, that sounds bad.

 

“Do you think it could get worse?”

 

Izaya shrugged, looking troubled.

 

“I don’t know, that’s the worst part, there’s a lot we don’t know and there’s not way to find out unless it happens.”

 

Shizuo frowns, a heavy feeling in his stomach, Izaya looks so stressed at the thought of what the bond could do and Shizuo wants to help him but he doesn’t know how. He’s not sure when he started to become genuinely fond of Izaya but that could be the bond’s control as well. How are they supposed to know what’s real and what isn’t? It’s all too confusing.

 

“What should we do?”

 

Izaya rubs his temples like his head hurts, Shizuo bites down the urge to find him some pain pills.

 

“I don’t know, Shizu-chan. I really don’t.”

 

Izaya’s voice is bitter, his emotions not hidden for once.

 

“I don’t know either.”

 

He admits.

 

“But I’ll do whatever you need me to do. Should we stay away from each other?”

 

Izaya sighs.

 

“I don’t think that would help, unfortunately, if we did that the bond might step up its game. I think we need to meet relatively often to appease the bond, I’d say at least twice a week, maybe more. We’ll have to figure things out as we go.”

 

Shizuo nods, that seems reasonable.

 

“Your place or mine?”

 

And it’s only after he says it that he realizes how that sounded. His cheeks tinge pink but Izaya doesn’t seem to notice.

 

“I don’t think it matters. We’ll decide on a case to case basis.”

 

It’s the best plan they have so Shizuo agrees easily. They talk a little while longer before Shizuo leaves. He feels a little better about this whole thing. As long as they can keep control and not piss each other off this should work out… Hopefully.

 

-

 

Izaya takes some pain pills once Shizuo leaves and flops onto the couch with a sigh. His revenge plans are starting to look less and less possible, will the bond even allow it if he tries to hurt Shizuo? Probably not. Shizuo staying away from him doesn’t seem to be a good solution either, the bond would find a way to force them together.

 

He definitely hasn’t forgiven Shizuo or Shinra but that’s starting to take backseat to the current stress. At least Shizuo is being understanding, there are much worse things than being stuck with Shizuo in this situation. He doesn’t like to admit it but Shizuo isn’t a bad person when he can help it. He’ll have to find a nonviolent revenge that doesn’t push Shizuo away… That seems impossible but surely he can do it.

 

This situation with Shizuo is a mess, he doesn’t want a romantic partner, and he certainly wouldn’t pick Shizuo for that role if he did, but apparently this is what fate demands. Izaya won’t give in though, there’s no way he’ll let himself be controlled this way.

 

He pushes the thoughts from his head and gets up to work more on Shiki’s job, the information he gained today should help quite a bit. He works for the rest of the day and heads to bed after a quick dinner, he feels a little better about this entire situation and is able to fall asleep quickly.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He'll never need to worry about that once nightmare becoming a reality, though there are other test they'll need to do those can be saved for another day. Shizuo helps him to his feet and Izaya's so happy that he doesn't even resist the urge to hug the man.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning for falling? Roof tops? Izaya gets extremely close to falling off a roof and I describe that so if that makes you uncomfortable please be careful reading this.

It's only a few days later but they're already much more comfortable around each other, or at least Shizuo thinks Izaya is more comfortable. They were settled in Izaya's apartment with some tea at the moment because Izaya wanted to test some theories. He said they might help understand the bond better and Shizuo was cautiously optimistic as Izaya started his explanation. He still couldn't help but notice the way Izaya's thin, black sweater clung to his skin and revealed his collar bones but most of his attention was on Izaya's words so he figured he was winning the fight with his instincts.

 

"Obviously, this bond wants to force us together in any way it can, I assume there's some equally mystic reason behind the why as there is the how, but I want to run tests and... I need to trust you on this Shizu-chan."

 

There's a slight waver in Izaya's voice and Shizuo nods immediately, he wants Izaya to trust him. They could put their entire past behind them for all he cares anymore.

 

"Of course, whatever you need I'm ready to do."

 

Izaya takes a deep breath.

 

"Good. Order me to hurt myself."

 

He says it so succinctly that it actually takes Shizuo a moment to register it, too busy taking in the way Izaya's body moves when he breathes. He needs to eat more but his hair looks so soft and his face is so pretty, though he always has bags under his eyes, and- wait did he just say...

 

"What!? Why!?"

 

Izaya sighs, a look of consternation on his face.

 

"I need to know if there's an extent to how far you can go. Just something small for now, like bumping my elbow or stubbing my toe."

 

Shizuo hesitates. Izaya doesn't look happy about this situation, though he supposes it would be weird if he did considering what they'll be doing. He's not happy about this either.

 

"Are you sure you want me to do this?"

 

He gets a very nice laugh in return.

 

"Do I want you to hurt me? Of course not. But it's better to know."

 

Shizuo takes a deep breath to steady himself. If this is what Izaya needs him to do then he'll do it, no matter how much he hates the idea.

 

"Fine..."

 

He cringes as he thinks of an order.

 

"Bruise your leg on the table."

 

He mutters, but it's still an order and Izaya doesn't bother fighting the spark of the collar as his leg kicks out. Shizuo looks away as Izaya hisses at the slight pain.

 

"Is that enough?"

 

Izaya sighs regretfully.

 

"Unfortunately, no. We need to go a step further now. I need you to tell me to cut myself, if you could stop it at the last second that would be wonderful."

 

His words dip into sarcasm near the end but Shizuo's just relieved he gets to stop Izaya, he doesn't ever want to be the cause of Izaya's fear or pain again.

 

"I will... Cut your arm."

 

A grimace spreads over Izaya's face but he reaches into his pocket for a knife and pushes his sleeve out of the way to bring the knife into position. Shizuo waits as long as he can, a ball of nerves in his chest, and stops him when he thinks it's about to go to far, the blade pressed a hair's width away from Izaya's skin.

 

"What are we testing with this?"

 

He asks as Izaya relaxes and drops the knife to the table. Shizuo resists the urge to push it much farther away.

 

"If the bond lets you hurt me. You won't like this next part at all Shizu-chan."

 

Izaya's looking a little pale himself and Shizuo frowns, this seems bad.

 

"What is it?"

 

Izaya just gives him a shaky smile that makes Shizuo want to pull him into a comforting hug.

 

"Come with me."

 

* * *

Izaya leads Shizuo to the roof, despite the reluctance he feels. He'd stolen the key when he'd thought up these tests, it hadn't even been that hard, maybe he'll recommend better security to the building manager... If this even works.

 

They go up a couple short flights of stairs and Izaya unlocks the door, stepping out into sunlight and taking in the view. It's an amazingly heady feeling to be this high over the city, he can feel the wind around them and see everything for miles. Still, the reminder of why they were here killed the little spark of joy in his chest. He must be crazy to think this would ever be a good idea but he has to know, has to be able to plan for these things. So he'll put his trust in Shizuo, just this once. If it kills him... so be it.

 

"We're going to try some things you won't like."

 

He says softly, cutting off the look of soft wonder on Shizuo's face, that gaze going hard and focused.

 

"What things?"

 

There's trepidation in Shizuo's voice and Izaya smiles grimly.

 

"Don't worry about it for now."

 

He picks up a length of rope he left here two days ago in preparation for today and starts to tie it tight around his waist.

 

"Knot this for me, Shizu-chan."

 

Best to be on the safe side, of course. Shizuo gives him a dark frown but steps forward to tie the rope in a way that he'll probably have to cut it off once they're done to have any hope of removing it, it seems Shizuo is catching on. Once he's secure he hesitates a moment to stare out over the city again.

 

"Do you know what I want you to do, Shizu-chan?"

 

He can see the strong set of Shizuo's jaw and the way the sunlight shines on his windswept hair, and pushes aside the unwanted thoughts of Shizuo's attractiveness.

 

"Yes. Should I stop you?"

 

Izaya releases a long breath. Right, this is serious.

 

"Yes on the first time, no on the second."

 

Shizuo looks deeply disturbed but he nods and when the order comes there's barely a waver in his voice.

 

"Walk over the edge."

 

He tries to fight it instinctively, that's not at all something he wants to do, but his body moves on it's own. Even though he knows that the rope will save him, if Shizuo doesn't, the adrenaline builds quickly and he squeezes his eyes shut as he gets to the very edge, then-

 

"Stop, move away from the edge."

 

And he stills, eyes opening to the dizzying sight below him. His shoes are only a few centimeters from the edge and he stumbles back quickly, trembling slightly. Shizuo gives him a concerned look.

 

"Are you okay?"

 

Izaya takes several deep breaths.

 

"I'll be fine. Let's try again."

 

Shizuo nods, fingers fiddling with his pocket like he wants his cigarettes.

 

"Alright, last time."

 

Izaya stands next to Shizuo again and waits for the order. It seems to take forever but finally Shizuo forces it out.

 

"..Walk over the edge."

 

And despite the spike of fear he does. Step by step, until his foot hits the last of the concrete, he'll be in air on the next step, is the dizzy thought that rushes through his head, except he can't make himself move. The collar seems to curl around his throat.

 

"Shizu-chan. Order it again."

 

Seconds later the words come.

 

"Jump off."

 

The urge is there but he can't force his limbs to move even when he physically tries. The collar is feels like it's coiling now. It's clear that it won't make him do that. Relief floods his system, a lot of his fears wiped away by that one revelation.

 

"Call me back."

 

His voice shakes with his relief.

 

"You have your free will."

 

And he moves backwards to slump against the wall.

 

"The collar wouldn't let me jump. You can't force me to kill myself."

 

He'll never need to worry about that once nightmare becoming a reality, though there are other test they'll need to do those can be saved for another day. Shizuo helps him to his feet and Izaya's so happy that he doesn't even resist the urge to hug the man. The contact between them is so nice that he doesn't even complain when Shizuo leans over and draws him into a kiss. It's slow and soft and Izaya moans softly past the haze in his mind. Shizuo shudders against him and steps closer to pin him back to the wall. Some part of him is confused over why all this is happening but an even bigger part is just happy with Shizuo's mouth on his and the soft feeling of sparks around his neck.

 

Hands fall to grope his ass and he arches up onto tiptoes so Shizuo can hold him in place as they kiss, bodies pressed close together as Shizuo's tongue explores his mouth. He wraps his arms around Shizuo's neck with a whimper and grinds up against him causing Shizuo to jolt, groaning desperately before his eyes widen Shizuo pushes away from him quickly, sputtering and rambling right away. The loss makes Izaya whine but then he actually pays attention to what Shizuo is saying.

 

"Oh shit! I'm so sorry Izaya! I- fuck, this fucking bond. Please forgive me."

 

Shizuo looks so distraught and it takes a moment for Izaya to clear the haze from his thoughts to realize why, it had felt so nice to have- _oh god damn it._ The collar had to take his happy moment and ruin it! Though... it had felt pretty nice, but no, he's not going to think like that.

 

"It's okay Shizu-chan... It's the bonds fault and we were both caught up in it."

 

Not that it helps the violating feeling of having his control stripped away like he's a passenger in his own body, but that's not really Shizuo's fault, no matter how much he wishes he had a physical force to blame. Shizuo calms a little at that.

 

"Are you okay? I can leave if you need me to go?"

 

Izaya sighs and rests his head back against the wall.

 

"You can come back inside and finish your tea. I can tell you some of my other theories if you'd like?"

 

The day is pretty ruined but if they don't get to close too each other the bond probably won't act up again. Shizuo gives him a happy but cautious look.

 

"That sounds nice, let's go."

 

Izaya takes one more look around the roof and leaves, hanging the keys back on their rack before they head back down to his apartment.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shizuo has steadily began to earn his trust but there's still that resolve to resist, Shizuo has done a lot of things to hurt him and while Izaya may give as good as he got nothing Izaya has ever done really matches up to the emotional pain Shizuo has given him, and not just from when he discovered how to work the collar. As much as Izaya would never admit it Shizuo's initial rejection when they'd only exchanged a couple words had hurt. He hated the part of himself that cared about any of that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so,,,, sorry this took so long. I had inspiration issues. I'm happy with this chapter though and I hope you guys will be too.

"It took longer than I'd expect from you."

 

Shiki's voice is dry and Izaya knows he's disappointed with his work.

 

"There were extenuating circumstances. My apologies for the wait."

 

Izaya replies easily, bowing his head as he should. He'd finally tracked down the mole, it had been much easier once he could actually go into the city. Shiki eyed him for a long moment.

 

"Should I ask about these 'extenuating circumstances'?"

 

Izaya waved the question away easily.

 

"They've been dealt with and won't be a problem in the future. I will however reduce my price considering how long you had to wait."

 

He doesn't like to do it but keeping the Awakusu happy with his business is key. Shiki nods.

 

"That will be acceptable. It'll be wired to your account by the end of the week."

 

Izaya smiles.

 

"I'm sure. Will there be anything else, Shiki-san?"

 

"No, but I do recommend you keep the slip ups to a minimum."

 

It's a thinly veiled warning and Izaya nods reluctantly.

 

"Of course. Should I see you out?"

 

Shiki shakes his head and stands.

 

"No. See you around, informant."

 

Izaya waves Shiki out the door and sighs, frustrated and tense. Talking himself out of trouble wasn't all that difficult but the effort it took plus his stress over his meeting with Shizuo tomorrow has him frazzled. After the kiss he really didn't want to see Shizuo but he knows he can't put it off for too long. As much as he knows it would be easier to give in, let the bond fade away once it's happy, he hates even the thought of having his free will stolen away. He knows that Shizuo isn't a bad person, he's probably the best choice somebody like Izaya could really get, but he just can't let the bond win.

 

Shizuo has steadily began to earn his trust but there's still that resolve to resist, Shizuo has done a lot of things to hurt him and while Izaya may give as good as he got nothing Izaya has ever done really matches up to the emotional pain Shizuo has given him, and not just from when he discovered how to work the collar. As much as Izaya would never admit it Shizuo's initial rejection when they'd only exchanged a couple words had hurt. He hated the part of himself that cared about any of that.

 

His determination to give Shizuo a reason to hate him has started to waver lately and he can't stand it. He can't tell what thoughts and feelings are his own anymore and the thought frightens him. He wants to call Shinra, he misses their banter, but he can't because Shinra betrayed him. It's all such a mess and it makes something in his chest pull tight. Maybe... Maybe Shinra isn't the only one he could call though. He debates it for a long time before slowly pulling out his phone.

 

It doesn't have to be a serious conversation, he just wants somebody to talk to. He takes a deep breath and hits call before pressing it to his ear as the ringing begins.

-

Shizuo jolts awake to the sound of his phone ringing, he blinks as he searches for his phone, realizing he must have dozed off after getting home from work. He answers without checking caller id.

 

"Hello?"

 

He rubs at his face to try and wake himself up but Izaya's voice through the phone helps with that in an instant.

 

"Hello, Shizu-chan."

 

"Izaya, what do you need?"

 

It sounds more stand-offish than he means it too but he just woke up. Izaya just laughs lightly and the sound sends a shiver through Shizuo.

 

"Just wanted to make sure you didn't forget about tomorrow. I don't want you to be surprised when I show up to your apartment."

 

Shizuo sighs, rolling his eyes at the playful amusement in Izaya's voice.

 

"I didn't forget. We made the plans yesterday."

 

Which he doesn't want to talk about because the sight of Izaya at the edge of the roof was terrifying. The kiss though... but he's not thinking about that either.

 

"What's the real reason you called?"

 

He can hear what sounds like a sigh from the other end of the line.

 

"That would be telling wouldn't it~ I don't give away information for free you know."

 

It's starting to seem more and more like Izaya doesn't have an actual goal for this call and after a moment Shizuo grins, Izaya was lonely wasn't he.

 

"Let me guess, you got tired of sulking alone at home and wanted somebody to talk to?"

 

There's a soft hitch of breath before Izaya scoffs.

 

"Of course not."

 

But there's a distinct defensive note to it that tells Shizuo the right answer.

 

"It's alright Izaya, I won't tell anybody your secret."

 

Shizuo teases, enjoying Izaya's frustrated sigh immensely.

 

"No but really, it's okay if you just wanted to talk. Not everything has to be a big deal."

 

He offers, softer and more serious. There's a long silence and just as Shizuo's about to say something Izaya responds.

 

"How was your day?"

 

Shizuo smiles, settling in for what he hopes will be a nice talk.

 

"It was nice. Most people were able to pay their debts and I got to see Celty at lunch. What about you?"

 

There's another pause then Izaya sighs.

 

"Not... Not so great I guess. I finally finished an important job but it took me a long time because I wasn't able to go into the city till recently. My client was unhappy with me so I had to reduce my price. I calmed them down but it was still stressful."

 

Shizuo bites his lip, feeling a little guilty over it.

 

"I'm sorry my order kept you from an important job."

 

He replies softly.

 

"I understand why you did it, Shizu-chan, but I still wish you hadn't."

 

Shizuo nods even though Izaya can't see him.

 

"I guess that's fair."

 

It feels really nice to just talk to Izaya like this. They talk for a little longer about little things before Izaya has to go. Shizuo sets his phone aside with a small smile before getting up to make dinner.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Izaya can't say he isn't a bit nervous, Shizuo's hand completely engulfs his and the heat of it seems to thrum through Izaya's whole body. It's... nice. Still, he worries that the contact will make it easier to slip up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yay, chapter 15! Here to kick off even more plot! I'm sure you'll all love the twist ending to this chapter ;)

Shizuo paces the floor as it gets closer to Izaya's visit, a nervous energy jittering under his skin. He can't say he doesn't want Izaya here, he does, that's the problem though. He wants it too much. The bond keeps pushing them into things they aren't ready for and Shizuo's convinced it's pushing Izaya away more than anything. He doesn't know how all his feelings twisted around so quickly, or even if they actually have, maybe his real feelings are just being shoved completely aside in favor of what the bond wants him to feel. He really hates how confusing this all is.

He sighs and drops to sit on the couch, rubbing his temples in a futile attempt to clear the forming stress headache. He doesn't know how Izaya can do this. After everything Shizuo has done, the power he now holds, Izaya should have stayed away, Shizuo would have. Maybe Izaya is braver than him, or he understands something Shizuo doesn't, whatever the case it's clear Izaya doesn't think Shizuo will hurt him anymore and that small acceptance is nearly dizzying.

Shizuo know what he's feeling isn't love, there's too much blood between them, but if things keep going like they this then he thinks he will start to feel that way. It's a terrifying thought. Loving anybody, let alone Izaya, is dangerous. He could hurt them too easily and he'd rather die than hurt somebody he loved. He's pulled out of his dark musings by a knock on the door. He sighs and quickly stands to let Izaya in.

Izaya smiles when he opens the door, holding up a paper sack.

"I got us take-out~ Simon says hi."

Here he gets a slightly suspicious look on his face.

"I don't know how he knew I was meeting you though."

Shizuo smiles and takes the bag as Izaya slips off his shoes.

"Me neither, he knows a lot of things though. Thanks for grabbing dinner."

He's never thought about where Simon hears his information.

Izaya nods and sits on Shizuo's couch. Shizuo feels a sharp ache as he looks at him, Izaya fits so well in his apartment. He _wants_ this. Immediately he shakes the thoughts away and sits next to Izaya, starting to pull out the food as Izaya starts to ramble on about something. He really does try to listen as they eat but most of it flies over his head and he finds himself just watching Izaya. He's really cute when he's excited, a bit of sauce gone unnoticed on his chin from eating too fast and Shizuo smiles as he leans forward to wipe it away. Izaya's words falter and he gives Shizuo a frown.

"What?"

Shizuo just shakes his head.

"You had sauce on your chin, it was bothering me. You can keep talking, don't worry."

Izaya huffs and rolls his eyes but he keeps going, something about some new psychological study that Shizuo could never even pretend interest in. He's happy Izaya is having fun for once though. Izaya keeps talking, moving onto other subjects and Shizuo's eyes fall to Izaya's hand on the couch. It's unoccupied, just laying there innocently, and Shizuo can't resist the urge to grab it with his own, wrapping their fingers together even as Izaya jolts slightly, hand twitching in Shizuo's grasp.

"Shizu-chan..."

Izaya sighs and tries to pull his hand away but Shizuo holds tighter.

"Hold on, it's not the bond this time, it's an idea. Maybe physical contact will help keep the bond happy, maybe it'll stop controlling us as much."

Izaya still looks skeptical but he stops pulling his hand away.

"I don't know... I guess it can't really hurt but if you even get this idea to take it further than hand-holding I need you to pull away. Can you do that?"

Shizuo nods, determined to control this.

"Yes."

Izaya bites his lip.

"Even if I'm being prodded along to actions we don't want?"

He pauses, that would be harder but all he has to do is remember Izaya's terrified face from before to steel his resolve. He swallows past the sudden lump in his throat.

"Yes."

Izaya relaxes a bit at that and they fall into comfortable silence, hands clasped together. It's nice, it would be better if Izaya was closer so they didn't have to extend their arms so far but he understands why that can't happen... yet. He hopes this works, and not just because he wants to hold Izaya's hand all the time. He doesn't know what it is but just sitting in peaceful silence with Izaya feels like the best stress relief in the world.

-

Izaya can't say he isn't a bit nervous, Shizuo's hand completely engulfs his and the heat of it seems to thrum through Izaya's whole body. It's... nice. Still, he worries that the contact will make it easier to slip up but an hour passes and then two and all he feels is a sleepy contentment. It is getting late and they both have to work tomorrow but he doesn't want to leave. He wishes he could go back to hating Shizuo, wishes this whole thing had never happened, but it did and all he can do is deal with things as they come.

There's a continuous flutter in his stomach that has to be from the bond, Izaya refuses to think otherwise, the longer they hold hands. He shouldn't be this flustered over something so small and innocent but he is and it's awful. Shizuo's been telling a story about his childhood for a little while and he's been listening vaugly, absorbing anything important but not really putting too much attention in. He's mainly focused on keeping a sharp eye on his own thoughts and feelings, no way is he letting himself get lead around tonight, luckily the bond seems calm and no suspicious urges tug at his consciousness.

When Shizuo waves him out the door about an hour later he's able to manage an honest smile as before he makes his way home. It's been a surprisingly good night, the food was good and he's slowly come to find that Shizuo actually can be good company. His good mood isn't even ruined when Celty pulls up next to him.

"Hello, Courier-san."

Celty nodded and held up her phone.

\--You didn't check your texts did you--

Izaya frowned.

"Ah, I've been a bit busy tonight."

He goes to dig his phone out of his pocket but Celty interrupts him.

\--Shinra's hurt. He wants to see you.--

His good mood evaporates on the spot and his eyes widen minutely. Silently he nods and Celty pats the back of her motorcycle. Izaya climbs on and they speed off, worry and remaining betrayal warring back in forth in his chest. This is going to be a long night.


End file.
